Independence Day Jokes

Independence Day Jokes

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? 

The Americans licked the British! 

How come there's no Knock Knock joke about America? 

Because freedom rings. 

What's red, white, black and blue? 

Uncle Sam falling down the stairs. 

What kind of tea did the American colonists want? 

Liberty. 

What was General Washington's favourite tree? 

The infantry. 

What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? 

A Fire Cracker! 

What was the most popular dance in 1776? 

Indepen-dance. 

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? 

It can't sit down. 

Who was the biggest jokester in George 

Washington's army? Laughayette 

Why did the duck say bang? 

Because he was a firequacker. 

What's the difference between a duck and George Washington? 

One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill 

Why were the first Americans like ants? 

They lived in colonies. 

What do you eat on July 5th? 

Independence Day-Old-Pizza. 

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? 

Beneduck Arnold. 

What did the fuse say to the firecracker? 

Lets get together and "pop it like its hot".

 How do you start the 4th of July parade in the ghetto? 

Roll a 40 down the street. 

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772? 

The Boston Flea Party. 

See more; Blonde Jokes

Cow Jokes

Cow Jokes

Q: Why don't cows have any money? 

A: Because farmers milk them dry 

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow? 

A: It's pasture bedtime. 

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an upset cow? 

A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. 

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon? 

A: The farmer had cold hands. 

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? 

A: Beef strokin' off. 

Q: Why did the cow cross the road? 

A: To get to the udder side. 

Q: What do you call a cow you can't see? 

A: Camooflauged. 

Q: How easy is it to milk a cow? 

A: It's a piece of steak. 

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? 

A: Because the cow has the utter. 

Q: What do cows do while skiing? 

A: Moo-Guls! 

Q: How do you make a milkshake? 

A: Give a cow a pogo stick. 

Q: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? 

A: Bullogna 

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast? 

A: Moooolasses. 

Q: What do you call an evil cow? 

A: De-mooooon. 

Q: Why was the cow so scared? 

A: Because he was a cow-ard. 

Q: What did the cow say to the cow tipping rednecks? 

A: Don't moooove a muscle. 

See more: Joke for the day

Yoga Jokes Funny

Yoga Jokes

Do you wanna join me for a yoga class? 

Namaste here. (No I must stay here). 

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class?

I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by. 

Why didn't the yogi vacuum in the corner? 

Because he has no attachments. 

What does a dyslexic cow say? 

Ommmmmmmmmm. 

What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio?

Inquire Within. 

What was the woman angry after her yoga class? 

She was bent out of shape. 

What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? 

Make me one with everything. 

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? 

Decom-pose. 

What's the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? 

Pro-pose. 

Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? 

It's called "Yoga mail". 

What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? 

Too many attachments. 

What kind of animal does yoga? 

A Shangri-llama. 

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? 

Over-ex-posers. 

What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? 

I'm not a poser you are. 

See more: Short joke of the day

THE TEST Joke Funny

THE TEST Joke 

These four guys were enrolled in an Organic Chemistry class at Duke University. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, that each had an "A" for the semester. 

These guys were so confident that they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends the weekend before finals. 

After all the hardy-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until Monday morning. 

Since they were late for the final, they decided to make an excuse to the professor so they could take a make-up exam. 

Later on in the day, they found their professor and explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. 

As a result, they missed the final. The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. 

They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. 

He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. 

They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points, something simple about free radical formation. "Cool" they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. 

On the second page was: (For 95 points): Which tire? 

See more: Best jokes ever

Short Knock Knock Family Jokes Funny

Knock Knock Family Jokes 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Mom & Dad. Mom & Dad who? Exactly your adopted. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Disguise! Disguise who? Disguise (this guy) is your boyfriend? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Stranger! Stranger who? Didn't your mom ever tell you not to open the door to strangers. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Heart! Heart who? Heart to hear you, can you speak up. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Grandma! Grandma who? Oh, you better stop sassin' me cuz I am yo grandma 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Honey! Honey who? Honey I'm home. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe. Joe who? Joe momma. 

Knock Knock Who's There? Aunt Jemima Aunt Jemima Who? I'm glad I ain't joe mamma 

Knock Knock Whos there Od lady Old lady who? I didnt know you cold yodel 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Father. Father who? Father, son, holy, spirit. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? Me Me who? You are so weird you dont know who you are! 

See more: Good knock knock jokes

Sweet And Funny Knock Knock Jokes

Sweet And Funny Knock Knock Jokes

Funny knock knock jokes

Knock knock

Who's there?

Police

Police who?

Police open the door. I forgot my lunch!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Alaska

Alaska who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Adore

Adore who?

Adore is between us, let me in!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Amish

Amish who?

A mish you too!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Lenna

Lenna who?

Lenna little closer and I'll tell you

Knock Knock,

Whos there,

Love

Love Who,

I LOVE YOU!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Plums

Plums who?

Plums me we'll always be friends!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Rena

Rena who?

Rena this bell doesn't do any good!

Knock knock

Who's there?

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU who?

Don't ask who, because it's YOU!

Knock knock

Who's there?

A little girl

A little girl who?

A little girl who can't reach the doorbell!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dumbbell

Dumbbell who?

Dumbbell doesn't work so I had to knock.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Grandad

Crap! Stop the funeral!

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Knock knock

Who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub... I'm dwowning!

Knock Knock Movie Jokes Funny

Knock Knock Movie Jokes Funny

Good knock knock jokes

Knock knock! Whos There? Oscar! Oscar who? Oscar if she wants to go to an awards show. 

Knock Knock Who's there? Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes who? Sherlock Holmes (should lock homes) somebody could break in. 

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tinkerbell! Tinkerbell who? Think your bell is out of order. 

Knock Knock Who's there? Max! Max who? I'll Max you an offer you can't refuse. 

Knock Knock Who's there? Lucy! Lucy who? Lucy, I'm Home...("I Love Lucy" 1951-1957) 

Knock Knock Who's there? Lauren. Lauren who? Lauren order is my favorite show. 

Knock Knock Who's there? Dwayne! Dwayne who! Dwayne the knock johnson 

Knock knock Who's there? Needle Needle who? I needle money for the movies! 

Knock Knock Who's there? Aladdin! Aladdin who? Aladdin the street wants a word with you! 

Knock Knock Who's there? Cologne! Cologne who? Are Cologne (clone) troopers and stormtroopers the same? 

Knock Knock Who's there? Suriname! Suriname who? Suriname Ariel? Because I think we mermaid for each other. 

Knock Knock Who's there? Russia! Russia who? Russia Hour 3 was absolutely horrible.