Independence Day Jokes

Independence Day Jokes

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? 

The Americans licked the British! 

How come there's no Knock Knock joke about America? 

Because freedom rings. 

What's red, white, black and blue? 

Uncle Sam falling down the stairs. 

What kind of tea did the American colonists want? 

Liberty. 

What was General Washington's favourite tree? 

The infantry. 

What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? 

A Fire Cracker! 

What was the most popular dance in 1776? 

Indepen-dance. 

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? 

It can't sit down. 

Who was the biggest jokester in George 

Washington's army? Laughayette 

Why did the duck say bang? 

Because he was a firequacker. 

What's the difference between a duck and George Washington? 

One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill 

Why were the first Americans like ants? 

They lived in colonies. 

What do you eat on July 5th? 

Independence Day-Old-Pizza. 

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country? 

Beneduck Arnold. 

What did the fuse say to the firecracker? 

Lets get together and "pop it like its hot".

 How do you start the 4th of July parade in the ghetto? 

Roll a 40 down the street. 

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772? 

The Boston Flea Party. 

See more; Blonde Jokes

Cow Jokes

Cow Jokes

Q: Why don't cows have any money? 

A: Because farmers milk them dry 

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow? 

A: It's pasture bedtime. 

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an upset cow? 

A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. 

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon? 

A: The farmer had cold hands. 

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? 

A: Beef strokin' off. 

Q: Why did the cow cross the road? 

A: To get to the udder side. 

Q: What do you call a cow you can't see? 

A: Camooflauged. 

Q: How easy is it to milk a cow? 

A: It's a piece of steak. 

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? 

A: Because the cow has the utter. 

Q: What do cows do while skiing? 

A: Moo-Guls! 

Q: How do you make a milkshake? 

A: Give a cow a pogo stick. 

Q: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? 

A: Bullogna 

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast? 

A: Moooolasses. 

Q: What do you call an evil cow? 

A: De-mooooon. 

Q: Why was the cow so scared? 

A: Because he was a cow-ard. 

Q: What did the cow say to the cow tipping rednecks? 

A: Don't moooove a muscle. 

See more: Joke for the day

Yoga Jokes Funny

Yoga Jokes

Do you wanna join me for a yoga class? 

Namaste here. (No I must stay here). 

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class?

I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by. 

Why didn't the yogi vacuum in the corner? 

Because he has no attachments. 

What does a dyslexic cow say? 

Ommmmmmmmmm. 

What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio?

Inquire Within. 

What was the woman angry after her yoga class? 

She was bent out of shape. 

What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? 

Make me one with everything. 

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? 

Decom-pose. 

What's the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? 

Pro-pose. 

Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? 

It's called "Yoga mail". 

What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? 

Too many attachments. 

What kind of animal does yoga? 

A Shangri-llama. 

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? 

Over-ex-posers. 

What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? 

I'm not a poser you are. 

See more: Short joke of the day