Skunk Jokes--Funny Jokes For Adults Of The Day

Skunk Jokes

Q: Have you heard the skunk joke? 

A: You don't want to; it really stinks! 

Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling? 

A: Plug up its nose! 

Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink? 

A: A phew! 

Q: How much money does a skunk have? 

A: One scent! 

Q: What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

 A: Odor in the court! 

Q: What did the religious skunk say? 

A: "Let us spray!"

 Q: What do you call a flying skunk? 

A: A smell-icopter. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear and a skunk? 

A: I don't know, but it can easily get a seat on the bus! 

Q: What do you get when you cross a robot and a skunk? 

A: R-2 P-U! 

Q: Which rapper do skunks like? 

A: 50 Scent! 

Q: Why are skunks so smart? 

A: Because they have a lot of scents! 

Q: Why did Sally bring her skunk to school? 

A: For show-and-smell!

Q: Why didn't the skunk call his parents?

 A: Because his phone was out of odor! 

Rod Blagojevich One-Liners--Funny Jokes Of The Day

Rod Blagojevich One-Liners 

Q: What's a good christmas present for Rod Blagojevich? 

A: A Good Lawyer! 

Q: What will Governor Blagojevich do after getting kicked out of office? 

A1: Become the official Lego Hair model. 

A2: Get fired again by Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! 

A3: Host of the game show "Let's Make A Deal" 

Q: How is Governor Blagojevich's dream similar to the one by Martin Luther King Jr? 

A: Who knows, but for $100 he will tell you about it! Statement: Time magazine reports that Governor Blagojevich has an approval rating 4%. That's with a margin of error of 5%. Punchline: This means he could actually disapprove of himself. 

Q: When federal agents arrived at Governor Blagojevich's house how much time did he need before being arrested? 

A: 5 minutes to pack up his things and 4 hours to brush his hair! 

Q: What is Governor Blagojevich's real last name? 

A1: Bla-son-of-a-bitch 

A2: Bla-just-go-with-it 

A3: BraggingBitch 

Q: Rod Blagojevich was arrested for trying to sell a United States senate seat to the highest bidder, what happens next? 

A: Blagojevich will go to prison where his seat/ass will be sold to the biggest bidder! 

Q: What did Rod Blagojevich say when Barack Obama called on him to resign? 

A: "Only if the price is right!" 

Q: How did federal agents determine Blagojevich has a long history of bribes and kickbacks? 

A: They searched his hair! 

Q: Why did NBC change their minds about having Blagojevich appear on "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!"? 

A: Because they thought he would be better represented on "The Biggest Loser"! 

Q: What is the title to the new tell-all Rod Blagojevich book? 

A: "The Idiot's Guide To Becomming Governor Of Illinois" 

Omid Djalili Stand Up Jokes

Omid Djalili Stand Up Jokes 

I would first point out that laughing can actually save you money. Did you know that a belly laugh is, physiologically, the same as 20 minutes of yoga?

So when my manager Nigel fell over and hit his head on the ironing board, I lost 5lb. And giggling uncontrollably for five minutes is as good as running on a treadmill for half an hour. So when I was teaching my son to ride his bike and he flew over the handlebars into a tree, 

I laughed so hard I'm now thinking of becoming a swimwear model. I've been hit by the comedy crunch. 

I invested all my jokes in Jonathan Ross So if you keep laughing, you can almost certainly save money and ditch that gym membership. 

The Government are always telling us we've got to eat at least five fruit or veg a day or we will die. Isn't it time we had a daily laughter allowance? I would recommend at least five smiles a day and two giggles if one is to maintain a healthy outlook on life. 

There was a shipwreak, in a lifeboat in the middle of the pacific ocean there was an Indian, an Arab and an Iranian. 

A shark swam up up, ate the Arab, ate the Iranian, went up to the Indian but turned and swam away. The Indian prayed to god 'Oh God why did you save me?'. The shark said ' I had one of you last year and my a'rse is still burning.

 I was once Asked to become a jehovah's witness. I said I did not see the accident. 

Most people only associate the middle east with oil and phlegm and halitosis. I'm joking, I'm joking we're running out of oil. 

Knock Knock Music Jokes--Cute Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock 

Who's There?

 Ahmed Ahmed who? 

Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. 

All of my change I spent on you. 

Knock Knock 

Who's There? 

Daisy! 

Daisy who? 

Daisy me rollin, they hatin 

Knock Knock 

Who's There? 

Wendy! 

Wendy who? 

Wendy wind blows de cradle will fall. 

Knock Knock 

Who's There? 

Britney Spears! 

Britney Spears who? 

Knock Knock 

Who's There? 

Oops I did it again 

Knock Knock

 

Who's There? 

Usher! 

Usher who? 

Usher wish you would let me in. 

Knock Knock 

Who's there? 

Hello! 

Hello who? 

Hello from the other side I must've called a thousand times.